Everyone knows that worrying doesn’t accomplish a thing and yet most of us do it from time to time. Some people do it so well that if it was an Olympic event they could easily be a gold medal contender.

So why do you do it and how can you stop?

The reason you worry is that you fear that something is going to happen that you don’t want to happen. You think that by somehow worrying about it you are doing something to prevent it. What you are actually doing is focusing on what you don’t want rather than what you do want to happen. Typically, people worry when they have no control over the outcome of something. If you have control and are actually able to take action to prevent this real or imagined event from occurring, then do so.

For instance, if you’re a student and you’re worried that you won’t pass an upcoming exam then what should you do? Stop worrying and spend more time studying and preparing. Once you’ve done everything in your power to ensure the desired outcome there is nothing more that needs to be done. Even if you didn’t prepare as well as you should have, worry and fear will not help the situation. Being relaxed and confident about the outcome will make it easier to focus your mind’s energy on doing your best and achieving the desired results on the day of the exam.

If you find that you are worrying about someone else because of his or her actions, then share your concerns with them. If there is something you can do to help, that’s fine if you have the time, energy, and desire to do so as long as they want help. If the person is engaging in harmful actions and has no desire to stop, then there may be a life lesson they need to learn. You cannot learn it for them; it’s something they must experience for themselves.

When you worry, all you’re really doing is harming yourself by directing energy towards the problem instead of the solution. If you’re worrying about someone’s health the best thing you can do is to take action by preventing them from worrying. Try doing this with humor. In the book The Secret, there were stories of two people who used laughter to heal themselves. After being diagnosed with breast cancer Cathy Goodman immediately began to believe that she had been healed and everyday went around saying, "Thank you for my healing". Rather than feel sad, she made a conscious decision to surround herself with laughter. She allowed herself to think only positive thoughts as she was determined to assist her body in it’s own healing. She watched funny movies every night and directed her focus on being healthy. Three months later she was cancer free. A man named Norman Cousins inspired her. Norman had been diagnosed with an incurable disease and so for three months all he did was watch funny movies. As he laughed, he released negativity and he released the disease. Three months later, he was disease free. His doctors thought his recovery was a miracle.

Three words you should immediately remove from your vocabulary are fear, worry, and can’t. Worry is fear-based thinking. As Franklin D. Roosevelt so astutely remarked, "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself." The man knew what he was talking about. So quit worrying. You can do it and laughter really is the best medicine.

This is one of those great e-mails that has gone around more than once.  If you’ve already read it, you may enjoy reading it again.  If you haven’t already read it, you’re sure to enjoy this one.  I have no idea who originally wrote this insightful little story or I would have given credit to the author.  This is just one of those stories that needs to be shared…

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee… You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.  She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, she was tired of fighting and struggling.  It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose..

Her mother took her to the kitchen.  She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire.  Soon the pots came to boil.  In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.  She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners.  She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl.  She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.  Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl..  Turning to her daughter, she asked,  ‘ Tell me what you see.’

‘Carrots, eggs, and coffee,’  she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots.  She did and noted that they were soft.  The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it.. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.  The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.  The daughter then asked,  ‘What does it mean, mother?’

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water.  Each reacted differently.  The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.  The egg had been fragile.  Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.  The ground coffee beans were unique, however.  After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

‘Which are you?’  she asked her daughter.  ‘When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?  Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?’

Think of this: Which am I?  Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat?  Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?  Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean?  The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.  If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.  When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level?  How do you handle adversity?  Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.  The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

It is not my intent to infringe upon anyone’s copyright and if I have inadvertently done so, please contact me and I will remove this post.

+ + + + + + + +

The type of attitude you possess depends entirely on you. It can be either positive or negative. The great thing is – you get to choose. No one can make you feel a particular way because you must remember you are in control of how you choose to feel. When someone does or says something that you feel was meant to hurt you, that may or may not have been their intent. Oftentimes, hurt feelings are simply a matter of misunderstanding. Even if the person’s intent was malicious, you can simply choose not to let this affect you.

One of my favorite movies is The Point of No Return starring Bridget Fonda, Gabriel Byrne, and Anne Bancroft. The movie is basically a remake of La Femme Nikita and Bridget Fonda’s character, Maggie, is a lawbreaking criminal who has chosen to become a paid assassin over death by lethal injection. She is very rough around the edges so as part of her training she receives etiquette lessons. Her transformation is nothing short of remarkable. In one scene, her coach for this endeavor, played by Anne Bancroft, gives her a tip on how to control her temper. She tells her that when something bad happens or a situation goes awry to simple smile and say something like,

"I never did mind about the little things".

This is one of my favorite movie quotes and I use it quite often. It helps me to put things into perspective.

In the past, I used to let little things drive me crazy, and I must admit that sometimes I still do. The difference is, now when I feel that happening, I try to make a conscious effort to choose a positive attitude.

There is much to be gained from having a positive attitude. Studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Projecting positivity helps with handling stress and we all know that our health is directly linked to how we cope with stress.

A positive attitude is a foundation you can build upon. It would be quite difficult to be confident, outgoing, and enthusiastic without first having a positive attitude. A positive attitude supports positive attributes; a negative attitude does not. It’s pretty obvious why positive people have more friends than negative people. If you first choose a positive attitude, other positives will follow.

In today’s fast paced, high tech society, we are bombarded with information. Many of us are experiencing information overload. Between e-mails, snail mail, text mail, billboards, newspapers, and magazines, advertisers are all competing for our attention. Then there’s the news, which is almost always negative. Thousands of positive things occur every single day, but the media focuses on sharing mostly bad stuff.

So how do you stay positive amidst so much negativity? For starters, you can limit your news intake and consider your news sources very carefully. Next, do things that make you happy. Watch funny movies, listen to your favorite music, spend time with people whose company you enjoy, or pursue a hobby.

One of the easiest and best things you can do to keep a positive attitude is to think about everything in your life for which you are grateful. If you have a roof over your head, a bed to sleep in, food to eat, and are wearing clothing, then you should be grateful. If you are able to read this message then you have the gift of sight and you should be grateful. If someone is reading this to you, then you have the gift of hearing and again, you should be grateful. If you are reading this on a computer that you own, then by most of the world’s standards you are quite wealthy and you should be grateful.

We take so many things for granted and in doing so we allow negativity to creep in to our lives. If you start paying attention to the gifts you already have and begin each day by giving thanks, it’s easy to have a positive attitude.