The other day I was thinking of a dear old friend of mine and recalling how much she has changed over the years. I’ve known her since childhood which means we’ve been friends for a very long time. When we were teenagers, she went through a particularly wild phase. She experimented with every kind of drug imaginable, had unprotected sex with numerous partners, and even did a little occasional shoplifting. There’s more, but I’ll stop here that as I think you get the picture. Nonetheless, I really enjoyed hanging out with this particular friend. She had a great sense of humor and was obviously very open-minded.

Then it happened; she met and married a terrific guy. This was probably the beginning of her metamorphosis. Marriage obviously agreed with her; she settled down and really seemed to love wearing the hat of domestic goddess. She became an excellent housekeeper, superb cook and a great wife. A few later, they welcomed their first child into the world and then a second and then a third. Motherhood is something at which she excels. She is patient, nurturing, and supportive and helps her children with their goals and dreams. She has also become a great role model for her girls and they have all grown into fine young ladies. They often do family activities together including attending church every Sunday.

My friend has come such a long way. She’s been a Girl Scout leader for several years, been married for over 20 years now, and has also worked for the same company for over 20 years. She’s been involved with the PTA and was a soccer coach as well. I am so proud of her many accomplishments.

Reminiscing about my friend made me question something. If we can accept our friends with all of their faults and mistakes from the past, then why do we have so much trouble accepting ourselves? When I think of the person my friend used to be, I don’t think any less of her. She made some mistakes and exercised some very poor judgment. So what? Big deal. Haven’t we all? Now if she had seriously intentionally hurt someone that would be a different story. The only person she ever hurt was most likely herself. When I think of her, I rarely think of her as the person she was, but rather as the person she has become.

This gave me a bit of an epiphany. If we don’t love ourselves how can we expect others to? If we can’t forgive ourselves for our past mistakes, then how can we ever move forward? If you’re focusing on the negativity of some aspect of your past then how can you be positive for the future? It’s kind of like driving. If you spend too much time looking out the rear view mirror it takes your focus away from moving forward.

I hope that my dear friend realizes what an amazing person she is and that the mistakes from her past have helped her to become who she is today. Mistakes can be a great teacher; they show us what not to do in the future.

Have you ever tried to walk forward while looking backwards? It would be very hard to do and you would most likely either stumble or arrive at your destination much later than anticipated. Mistakes are inevitable and we all make them. The key is to learn from those mistakes and then stop looking backwards. We reach our destination only when looking in the direction we wish to go.

Late last August, a tropical storm had been making it’s way to Southwest Florida over a period of several days. In preparation for the storm, my husband and I removed everything from the lanai that could possibly become a flying projectile. This meant all of the plants and lawn furniture had to b e brought inside. We put almost everything in the garage with the exception of our Ficus tree, which we placed in a corner of the dining room.

Our former neighbors, the Hunts, had given it to us prior to their move back up North. When we first got the tree, it was in a very fragile state. Dry, withered, and shriveled, it had clearly been neglected and I was doubtful that we could prevent the poor thing from dying. My husband saw it as a renovation project; one at which he was determined to succeed.

When we brought it home the first thing we did was transfer it to a larger pot with good soil and plenty of water and fertilizer. Now I don’t normally talk to my plants but I decided that it couldn’t hurt particularly with this one; it needed extra special care. So I welcomed it into our home and introduced it to the other plants. I talked to that tree everyday for about one week or so. My husband continued to water it as necessary. The tree responded well to all this attention and began to grow. We then put it outside on the lanai in a nice corner where it would receive the right amount of sunlight and not too much wind.

Although we knew it was doing quite well, we didn’t realize just how much it had grown until we brought it inside. In about two years, the tree had grown from around four feet tall to eight feet tall and it was probably three times as wide as when we first got it. The tree, once stark and sickly, had become vibrant, healthy, full of dark green, shimmering leaves and it was now sporting tendrils as well. The transformation was amazing. We also discovered that the tree had become the home to one very noisy tree frog.

After witnessing this transformation, it occurred to me we too can experience profound results in direct correlation with how we cultivate our minds, bodies, and souls.

"Men are like plants–they never grow happily unless they are well cultivated."

This 18th century quote by Charles-Louis de Secondat Montesquieu still rings true.

Our lives are like gardens, they do best when cared for. Just as gardens need rain, fertilizer, and good soil, we also need good food, water, and mental and spiritual sustenance.

What about the weeds; are you weeding your garden? The weeds are all of the excess accumulations in your life. Detoxing can eliminate unwanted junk in the intestines allowing them to absorb nutrients more efficiently. Exfoliating can eliminate dead skin cells and give you a healthy glow. Donating unwanted items can get rid of clutter in your home and provide for those in need. Releasing hostilities and forgiving others can lighten your heart; it takes work to stay mad at someone. Letting go of negativity has a cathartic effect.

Keep in mind that just like the flowers, plants, and trees in a garden, we are either growing or dying. The seeds you plant in your mind are ideas, which become beliefs once they receive support. The path of action you then choose will deliver the fruits of your beliefs.

How does your garden grow? You might ask yourself if you’ve been planting the best seeds and cultivating them so that you might blossom and achieve your highest growth potential.  I’m aiming for Sunflower status, myself!