The other day I was thinking of a dear old friend of mine and recalling how much she has changed over the years. I’ve known her since childhood which means we’ve been friends for a very long time. When we were teenagers, she went through a particularly wild phase. She experimented with every kind of drug imaginable, had unprotected sex with numerous partners, and even did a little occasional shoplifting. There’s more, but I’ll stop here that as I think you get the picture. Nonetheless, I really enjoyed hanging out with this particular friend. She had a great sense of humor and was obviously very open-minded.

Then it happened; she met and married a terrific guy. This was probably the beginning of her metamorphosis. Marriage obviously agreed with her; she settled down and really seemed to love wearing the hat of domestic goddess. She became an excellent housekeeper, superb cook and a great wife. A few later, they welcomed their first child into the world and then a second and then a third. Motherhood is something at which she excels. She is patient, nurturing, and supportive and helps her children with their goals and dreams. She has also become a great role model for her girls and they have all grown into fine young ladies. They often do family activities together including attending church every Sunday.

My friend has come such a long way. She’s been a Girl Scout leader for several years, been married for over 20 years now, and has also worked for the same company for over 20 years. She’s been involved with the PTA and was a soccer coach as well. I am so proud of her many accomplishments.

Reminiscing about my friend made me question something. If we can accept our friends with all of their faults and mistakes from the past, then why do we have so much trouble accepting ourselves? When I think of the person my friend used to be, I don’t think any less of her. She made some mistakes and exercised some very poor judgment. So what? Big deal. Haven’t we all? Now if she had seriously intentionally hurt someone that would be a different story. The only person she ever hurt was most likely herself. When I think of her, I rarely think of her as the person she was, but rather as the person she has become.

This gave me a bit of an epiphany. If we don’t love ourselves how can we expect others to? If we can’t forgive ourselves for our past mistakes, then how can we ever move forward? If you’re focusing on the negativity of some aspect of your past then how can you be positive for the future? It’s kind of like driving. If you spend too much time looking out the rear view mirror it takes your focus away from moving forward.

I hope that my dear friend realizes what an amazing person she is and that the mistakes from her past have helped her to become who she is today. Mistakes can be a great teacher; they show us what not to do in the future.

Have you ever tried to walk forward while looking backwards? It would be very hard to do and you would most likely either stumble or arrive at your destination much later than anticipated. Mistakes are inevitable and we all make them. The key is to learn from those mistakes and then stop looking backwards. We reach our destination only when looking in the direction we wish to go.

The other day I was having lunch with my husband and we were discussing how life presents you with

so many challenges. Everything will being going along just fine and then, bam, something comes your way that you have to deal with. It sort of reminds me of playing poker.

Now, I’m not really a poker player, mind you, but my husband plays occasionally. He was playing Texas Hold ‘em for a while with a group of guys in our neighborhood and he did fairly well. My definition of doing fairly well at poker is simply winning more often than you lose.

I asked him to explain a little bit about the game and I learned that there is actually a good amount of strategy involved in the Hold ‘em variety of poker. Of course, the way you wager depends greatly on the strength of the cards you’re holding. However, there are many other factors to consider such as which community cards are on the table, whether or not another player might be bluffing, where you are in the betting cycle, and even where you’re seated in relation to the dealer. It’s really quite a bit more involved than that but you get the idea.

Last week my husband was diagnosed with a condition that will require him to take Prednisone for an extended period. We were discussing the many side effects from the long term usage of steroids. While there are many, we are both very grateful that such a drug exists that can alleviate his symptoms.

I always look for the silver lining in every situation. In this instance, the news was like the kick in the butt that we needed to ramp up our health and fitness regimen. Without receiving such news I wouldn’t be nearly as motivated to live a healthier lifestyle.

Thinking of my husband’s recent health issues as well as some of the other stress inducers of daily living, reminded me of playing cards. You might not always get the hand you want, but the important thing is to play the cards you’ve got to the best of your ability. Do this consistently and you have a winning formula.

"You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, and know when to run. You never count your money, when you’re sittin’ at the table. There’ll be time enough for countin’, when the dealin’s done." ~Kenny Rogers, The Gambler

Have you ever known anyone who had a great start in life but just didn’t play their cards right? I’ve known a few people in this category. They enter the world and are nurtured and loved and given every opportunity yet somewhere along the way, they just stop trying.

Then there are those who started the game with some pretty lousy cards but turned out to be magnificent players.

To win at poker you need to play every hand to the best of your ability. You need to learn the rules, maximize your wins, minimize your losses, and develop a consistent style. So then, it would appear that winning at the card game of life is a lot like playing poker.

The video below has nothing to do with poker but it truly is the most amazing card trick I’ve ever seen and so I thought I would share it in case you haven’t already seen it.

Inspirational Quotes For The Soul

I’ve always enjoyed inspirational and motivational quotes.  They can be thought provoking, funny, enlightening, and even comforting.  Although usually short, their message can speak volumes. For me, inspirational quotes are often just plain, old fashioned good advice.

"A smart man learns from his mistakes; A wise man learns from the mistakes of others".

I have no idea who said this but it’s an excellent example of the power of quotes.  We can learn from the words of others.

Here is are my Top 10 Favorite Inspirational Quotes:

1. "The world is but a canvas to the imagination."

~Henry David Thoreau

2. "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart."

~Helen Keller

3. "Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions."

~Oliver Wendell Holmes

4. "Love is not just looking at each other, it’s looking in the same direction."

~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

5. "Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared."

~Buddha

6. "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit."

~Aristotle

7. "Do or do not. There is no try."

~Yoda

8. "The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it."

When I was younger I used to get caught up in the whole Christmas shopping frenzy.  The day after Thanksgiving, a day that has come to be known as "Black Friday", typically marks the official start of the Christmas shopping season.  Now that I’m a little older, I avoid going near crowded shopping centers like the plague, especially on this day.

In honor of the Christmas Holiday I’d like to share one of my favorite quotes.

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery.  Today is a gift,that’s why it’s called The Present ."

Living in "the present" enables you to enjoy all of the gifts you have today without spending time regretting yesterday or worrying about tomorrow.

Dance…

like nobody’s watching

Love…

like you’ve never been hurt

Sing…

like nobody’s listening

Live…

like it’s heaven on earth

~Mark Twain

Here are some great examples of people with vision.  To them, failures are not failures, but merely stepping stones.

Famous Failures

I’ve heard it said that if you were to take all the money away from the wealthy and redistribute it evenly among everyone, that within one year an upper class, a middle class, and a lower class would re-emerge. I believe this to be true because some people would see opportunities and take advantage of them as they arise. Others would save or invest their money and possibly take advantage of a few opportunities. The remainder would blow their money, ignore opportunities, and make excuses as to why they no longer have the kind of life they desire.

Have you ever noticed that so many of the wealthy people in this country weren’t even born here? This is something I have always found very fascinating. I’ve heard story after story of people who immigrated to this country and came here with very little or no money. Yet many of them became very successful people, at least in terms of amassing wealth. They do whatever is necessary to acquire their dreams. Many of them achieve this success by initially living as cheaply as possible, working 2 or 3 jobs, and saving their hard earned dollars. Then they learn everything they can in a given field and often go into business for themselves. Sometimes they get small business loans if necessary. Once they achieve initial success with one store, they often go ahead and open a second and then a third. They find good managers to run the additional stores. The power of duplicity is a great way to create wealth because once you train someone to do exactly what you do you can continue duplicating this success over and over again.

Why do so many foreigners take advantage of these opportunities while the rest of us do not? I believe it’s because they see opportunities where we do not. Many of these people grew up in countries that don’t have the endless luxuries that we do.

Imagine if you lived in a shack that you shared with 10 other people. The place has no heating or air conditioning, no refrigeration, and a dirt floor. Food is scarce and you have no running water and have to walk a mile just for fresh water. Suddenly the idea of working two jobs in exchange for living in a place that has flooring and refrigeration would seem like a dream come true. The opportunity to learn about business and actually be able to get a loan for this purchase would be unheard of where you came from. So naturally, when you arrive in this country all you can see is opportunity, everywhere you look. There are even fountains with fresh water and coins in the bottom! This is obviously a place of great abundance.

Now this may be an exaggerated example but I use it to illustrate a point. Why don’t we see the many opportunities that surround us? It’s because when you’re comfortable and all of your basic needs are met it’s harder to see the opportunity. We simply don’t want to take advantage of opportunity because sometimes what’s really an opportunity feels like a tremendous sacrifice. We’re just too comfortable to see what we’ve got. So, we make excuses as to why something won’t work to avoid making what we perceive to be a sacrifice.

We use negative self-talk; getting my degree will take too much time, or owning my own business would require too much work, or getting a loan involves too much risk. Oh, and then, pursuing a certain course of action might take up too much of my time and I’d have to give up watching my favorite TV shows, and so on and so forth.

We’re like spoiled children who get everything handed to them only to take it all for granted. It drives me crazy when I see parents give their kids everything, which teaches them the value of nothing. There, I said it. This opinion might not make me too popular with some, but I don’t care; it’s what I truly believe. We tend to place much more value on things that we have to work for and pay for with our own money especially if we earn them the old fashioned way. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to give your children opportunities and provide them with a wonderful life. However, teaching them the value of working and seizing opportunities is one of the best gifts you can give them.

The following quote is attributed to Helen Keller.

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us ."

If a blind and deaf mute could see opportunity then surely all of us can learn from her remarkable attitude. While she may not have had the gift of sight, she certainly possessed vision.

People have been coming to this country for years in search of a better life. After all, this is the land of opportunity. Once you realize this, the possibilities are limitless! If you have sight, but lack vision you might not see every opportunity. If you have vision, you can take advantage of opportunities and create the life you desire. Having sight allows you to see what is. Having vision allows you to see what can be!

This is Sister Madonna Buder.  She is 78 years old and look what she is able to do.  Talk about Amazing Grace!

Sister Madonna Buder.

Have you ever wanted to learn a new skill, start a new career, or take up a new hobby but felt that you were too old? I know I certainly have and on more than one occasion. I remember when I was about 20 years old I considered becoming a Chiropractor. I liked the holistic philosophy of Chiropractic. The idea of treating the problem rather than the symptom made sense to me.

Then I was stricken with fear, yes the dreaded "f" word. I thought that I would be too old by the time I graduated at 26! If I decided to get married someday and have kids, then the schooling might just be a waste of time. Also, it seemed like a long time to wait before beginning a career.

Several years later, after I got married, I toyed with the idea of becoming an Architect. I was probably about 32 at the time and I was working for a builder selling new homes. I enjoyed studying the blueprints and changing things around to make the homes more aesthetically pleasing with improved functionality. Even though I believed I would make an excellent architect, I figured I would be too old by the time I got the degree. Therefore, I didn’t pursue this course of action either.

In retrospect, the whole notion of being too old just seems completely ridiculous: too old for what? If you decide to pursue a goal that takes 10 years to accomplish, then so what? What’s the worst thing that could happen? You could die between now and then and not achieve the goal. What’s the best that could happen? You could still be alive in ten years and now possess a valuable skill that might allow you to earn a very good living. You could master a skill that brings you great joy. Suppose you didn’t pursue this goal. You could look back in ten years regretting that you didn’t follow your dream. You would be asking yourself, "I wonder what would have happened if?"…

I got an e-mail the other day from my good friend, Lisa. She told me about a woman named Sister Madonna Buder and went on to say that this lady was her new hero. Of course, being a nun itself is quite remarkable given the level of sacrifice and dedication that’s required of the position. The thing that really impressed my friend was that this lady participates in triathlons and has even competed in 13 Iron Man triathlons.

An Iron Man consists of a 26.2 mile marathon run, a 2.4 mile swim, and a 112 mile bicycle ride. This would be an incredible accomplishment for the most elite athlete. What makes this feat even more inspiring is that Sister Madonna is 78 years old or in her case, years young. She didn’t take up running until she was 49. She has broken her hip twice, broken her arm, and broken her scapula but she just keeps on going. In fact, she has participated in over 300 triathlons!

Remember it’s not the amount of years in your life that count but the amount of life in your years! If I ever start to feel too old to do something, I’m just going to think of Sister Madonna. Besides, it’s all in how you look at it. Instead of thinking you’re too old just think of how young you’ll stay by pursuing your passions.

Are you directing your life or is your life directing you? Can you imagine listening to a symphony orchestra without a conductor? Everything would be disharmonious. The same is true of our lives; they need direction. It’s no secret that most people spend more time planning their wedding or their vacation that they do their lives. Why do most people leave their whole lives to chance? My guess is that they become stuck in a routine that simply becomes a habit.

I’ve known a good many people who end up in situations and wonder how they got there. It’s as if they make no correlation to their circumstances and their previous actions. For the most part, wherever you are in your life is a result of every decision you’ve ever made up to this point. Certainly, there are unforeseen circumstances from time to time but that’s not what I’m referring to. I’m talking about the decisions you make on a daily basis. A habit is nothing more than a decision that’s made regularly.
If you light up a cigarette, you are making a decision. If you gorge on potato chips, you are making a decision. If watch TV for hours and don’t get any exercise, you are making a decision. If you never take the time to relax, you are making a decision. If you spend money you don’t have, you are making a decision. The trouble is, a lot of people forget that they are making decisions because they’re functioning on auto pilot.

A great way to break a bad habit is to replace it with a good one. If you think of your life as something that you can create then you will immediately begin to notice which habits are bringing you the things you desire and which ones are not. I’m sure you’ve probably heard the definition of insanity. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

The process of living with purpose and creating the life you desire can be distilled to 4 easy steps.

1.   Take inventory of your life. Are you getting the results you want?

2.   Write down all the things you’d like to have or accomplish. Take your time with this. Maybe you’ve never even stopped to think about what it is you really want.

3.   If you haven’t made a vision board now would be a great time to do this. For a vision board to be effective, you must review it every day. This is an effective way to communicate your desires to your subconscious. Since your subconscious wants you to be happy, it will do it’s best to deliver.

4.   You will now become more aware of your actions and decisions and how they affect the ability to achieve your dreams. Make a conscious effort to monitor your actions and ask yourself if they are in alignment with the things you want.

Once you become fully aware of this process, you can begin living a purposeful life. Living purposefully is like having a conductor for your music. You are the maestro. Now go and orchestrate the symphony of your life!